all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
