i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is Oprah even human
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
