I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
