the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
