So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize