would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I looked at my own cervix.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
