i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
