I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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