like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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