...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
