what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
