on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
