But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
