I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
