I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize