he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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