Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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