He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
