So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i barfeds in our rink
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
