And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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