when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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