TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
