My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
