I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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