a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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