I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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