Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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