i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
