The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
