What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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