Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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