it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
