All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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