thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
