the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
