Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
