I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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