I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
