Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
