pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
