what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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