now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
