just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
