I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
