it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
