Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's Friday. Sex?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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