; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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