Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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