You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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