We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
