Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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