so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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