Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
