Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize