Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
