I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
