Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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