Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
