wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
