im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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