and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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