I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just high enough for therapy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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