He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
