I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
