i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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