HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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