something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
