Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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