Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
