this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
