Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
