it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize