I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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