gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
