on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
