This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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