I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
