I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize